The Cheapening of Intimacy

There is an interesting cultural paradox apparent in the media over the last several weeks. As a society, we generally condemn prostitution, pornography, and promiscuity. If not overtly castigated as evil, these illicit behaviors are at least quietly denounced or ignored. And yet we have raised to celebrity status a playboy model who participates in pornography, becomes famous and wealthy for doing so, and has so many sexual partners that numerous men can realistically claim to be her five month old daughter’s father. She is famous not for talent, ability or leadership but only because of her association with sex.
And our society feeds upon her story like a pack of starving wolves.
The contradiction is apparent and leads one naturally to wonder “why?” Why does the death of a sex symbol occupy headlines above wars and economics and international intrigue? There are so many different facets begging to be explored in response to this cultural conundrum that the editorial of a newspaper could never contain them. But for a moment consider this….
Sex has been cheapened in our culture.
Sex is everywhere and forced into every part of our lives. Commercials hint at it, sitcoms blatantly (and lightly) discuss it, advertisements in the mall or shopping center beg to bring it into our minds. Humor inevitably falls upon the innuendo as its easy laugh and students in high school are led to assume that physical intimacy is a normal part of every adolescent’s life. Yet in the process of being made the icon of satisfying pleasure, sex has lost its true significance and become one more empty attempt at true gratification.
May I be frank? I am no prude. Sexual intimacy is truly one of the high points of human experience. Yet as the world around us generates all manner of lust and desire we forget that it is a relational act, not merely a physical one. It is the mingling not only of bodies but of minds, spirits and hearts as well. Its truest meaning and deepest pleasures come not between casual lovers but within the connection developed through commitment and selfless love. Intimacy is no longer intimate when shared openly and frequently; sex then becomes simply selfish physical satisfaction. In the rush for sexual “freedom,” so apparent in a certain deceased model’s life, true pleasure has been lost.
Perhaps there is something to “traditional morality” after all.

Published in the Enquirer and the Post several months ago.